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Sep. 30th, 2009 11:12 amI've become fascinated all over again by the circles in which people move and how mixing in specific circles affects their judgements. In some circles, the friendships act as a reinforcement of belief, of idea, of experience. That's where my curiosity lies right now. When a person falls in love with an idea and hears their idea echoed around them then that idea is validated and turns into a truth.
People who don't believe that racism, gender inequities, religious intolerance exist often follow this route, in my experience. It's not an issue of morality for a lot of people (though it's much easier to judge people if one says "I'm ethical and you're not, so there") but simply that a person and the circles they mix in can reinforce a particular view and carry it around with them everywhere. This is how I explain (right now, at any rate - in three years time I might have an entirely new explanation) how really solid and decent human beings can turn into genocidal maniacs; how funny and intelligent and successful sportsmen commit rape; how some people move through a persecuted world and others (who might live next door) move through a placid existence.
It's partly about what we think. There is always an ethical element in judgement. We assume we're right and someone is wrong, so there must be.
But what we think when we're alone only carries into wider action for a few people. Most of us need affirmation from our peers in order to speak out. We're not miracle-workers, magicians, world-shakers. We're ordinary people who feel happiest when we can chat about things we care about and when we can hear our views reflected in our particular circles.
This is how some of the far left has become rather anti-Jewish. This is how some women have become anti-feminist. This is why certain towns get a fabulous writing culture and produce lots of cool stuff while other towns, equally big and equally literate, don't produce a thing.
Friendships and social groups are at once a source of our understanding and growth and a source of our misunderstanding and darkness.
If we want to change the world, we need to change the conversations people have. It's not enough to send a message and say "Look - this is important." That message needs to be validated in big ways and small ways. Through friends talking over coffee. Through knitting groups. Through questions being answered in different ways.
This is why I'm fascinated by the effect of social circles on the life of an individual. A group of people can judge another person without being aware they're doing anything. They change their actions to reflect their judgement almost subconsciously. It's how people can become isolated. It's how people can be persecuted.
I need to keep thinking about this. I've only just dipped my toe in the water.
People who don't believe that racism, gender inequities, religious intolerance exist often follow this route, in my experience. It's not an issue of morality for a lot of people (though it's much easier to judge people if one says "I'm ethical and you're not, so there") but simply that a person and the circles they mix in can reinforce a particular view and carry it around with them everywhere. This is how I explain (right now, at any rate - in three years time I might have an entirely new explanation) how really solid and decent human beings can turn into genocidal maniacs; how funny and intelligent and successful sportsmen commit rape; how some people move through a persecuted world and others (who might live next door) move through a placid existence.
It's partly about what we think. There is always an ethical element in judgement. We assume we're right and someone is wrong, so there must be.
But what we think when we're alone only carries into wider action for a few people. Most of us need affirmation from our peers in order to speak out. We're not miracle-workers, magicians, world-shakers. We're ordinary people who feel happiest when we can chat about things we care about and when we can hear our views reflected in our particular circles.
This is how some of the far left has become rather anti-Jewish. This is how some women have become anti-feminist. This is why certain towns get a fabulous writing culture and produce lots of cool stuff while other towns, equally big and equally literate, don't produce a thing.
Friendships and social groups are at once a source of our understanding and growth and a source of our misunderstanding and darkness.
If we want to change the world, we need to change the conversations people have. It's not enough to send a message and say "Look - this is important." That message needs to be validated in big ways and small ways. Through friends talking over coffee. Through knitting groups. Through questions being answered in different ways.
This is why I'm fascinated by the effect of social circles on the life of an individual. A group of people can judge another person without being aware they're doing anything. They change their actions to reflect their judgement almost subconsciously. It's how people can become isolated. It's how people can be persecuted.
I need to keep thinking about this. I've only just dipped my toe in the water.