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I promised my Zombie Ancestry History Theory, for those of you who haven't seen it before. This Zombie Ancestry History Theory has nothing to do with any actual zombie tradition and a lot to do with how the vast public apparently perceives aspects of the Middle Ages*. I'm not talking here about the politics or great literature, but the curious assumptions that people often make to my face about eating habits, cleanliness, lack of common sense and etc.** I remind myself very frequently that the people making these assumptions had ancestors.
When I was doing all that public food history (paid blogging and all) I kept coming across innocents who genuinely believed that covering rotting meat up with spices was an historical reality. We're not talking rituals here. We're talking expensive imported spices as saving people from starvation because they enabled the consumption of dangerous foodstuff. I would love to know if there is a study on how galingale, ginger, pepper and nutmeg prevent botulism and other food poisoning. None of these innocents cited me any such studies. When I was blogging, I reminded myself that the innocents with their assumptions also had ancestors.
Even if the science is good and even if we all should be consuming our decaying viands with much spice, the economics are all wrong. If starving peasants can't get fresh meat (sparrows, for instance) how can they afford imported spices to handle the rotting meat? And if the 1%*** were the ones in so much gustatory agony, then how on earth did the 99% survive?
There is a way… And it includes many ancestors…
People died. They ate that rotting meat and they died. From their loins, after death, were born zombie children who were no brighter than they were. And from these children were born anyone who is stupid enough to believe that intelligence is confined to the post-Medieval West or who subscribes to any of a number of really daft beliefs about the Middle Ages.
My current way of using my theory is in class, of course. When someone says anything that proves an assumption of the theory of pre-Renaissance stupidity, I**** will say, sympathetically, "I’m sorry to hear about your ancestors."
Ascribing stupidity to a student's ancestors to explain a student's explanations is a very easy way of getting students to re-evaluate certain assumptions. They're much happier to ascribe stupidity to an undetermined other than they are to ascribe it to themselves or their own past. This means that I don't really need the zombie association anymore, but a character in my time travel novel does, so it stays in my life.
And now you know. I hope your life is richer for the knowledge.
* The Middle Ages were the time of low intelligence between the extraordinarily clever Romans and the absolute genius Renaissance men. Very curious genetics.
** Much etc. I wax very lyrical on this when I'm angry about cultural assumptions of stupidity, but it's too hot today to wax lyrical about anything.
***Look, an almost up to date cultural reference.
****By 'I' I obviously mean the Evil Teacher aspect of me. I actually say it very seldom, but it's wonderfully reassuring to know that I can.
When I was doing all that public food history (paid blogging and all) I kept coming across innocents who genuinely believed that covering rotting meat up with spices was an historical reality. We're not talking rituals here. We're talking expensive imported spices as saving people from starvation because they enabled the consumption of dangerous foodstuff. I would love to know if there is a study on how galingale, ginger, pepper and nutmeg prevent botulism and other food poisoning. None of these innocents cited me any such studies. When I was blogging, I reminded myself that the innocents with their assumptions also had ancestors.
Even if the science is good and even if we all should be consuming our decaying viands with much spice, the economics are all wrong. If starving peasants can't get fresh meat (sparrows, for instance) how can they afford imported spices to handle the rotting meat? And if the 1%*** were the ones in so much gustatory agony, then how on earth did the 99% survive?
There is a way… And it includes many ancestors…
People died. They ate that rotting meat and they died. From their loins, after death, were born zombie children who were no brighter than they were. And from these children were born anyone who is stupid enough to believe that intelligence is confined to the post-Medieval West or who subscribes to any of a number of really daft beliefs about the Middle Ages.
My current way of using my theory is in class, of course. When someone says anything that proves an assumption of the theory of pre-Renaissance stupidity, I**** will say, sympathetically, "I’m sorry to hear about your ancestors."
Ascribing stupidity to a student's ancestors to explain a student's explanations is a very easy way of getting students to re-evaluate certain assumptions. They're much happier to ascribe stupidity to an undetermined other than they are to ascribe it to themselves or their own past. This means that I don't really need the zombie association anymore, but a character in my time travel novel does, so it stays in my life.
And now you know. I hope your life is richer for the knowledge.
* The Middle Ages were the time of low intelligence between the extraordinarily clever Romans and the absolute genius Renaissance men. Very curious genetics.
** Much etc. I wax very lyrical on this when I'm angry about cultural assumptions of stupidity, but it's too hot today to wax lyrical about anything.
***Look, an almost up to date cultural reference.
****By 'I' I obviously mean the Evil Teacher aspect of me. I actually say it very seldom, but it's wonderfully reassuring to know that I can.