A case for not panicking... and not ringing for 3 days

I have a five minute break in the weather and I'm using it to blog. I think this demonstrates that there's something wrong with my brain. Or maybe it's to reassure friends. I didn't get a post-excursion rest yesterday because of the malware and because friends rang me up. My phone was a bit hot because of the malware and folks not hearing from me, and I'm still getting "Did you get my email?" worries, and I worked as late as I needed to and I didn't catch up before a virus caught up with me. I keep telling myself that if I had rested instead of worked I would be better today but that's just not true: I have a virus and my legs would still be wobbly and my muscles sore.

It's not use telling me to take care of myself this time, for the deadlines have reached the immutable and urgent stage. I'm doing my very best to take care of myself and get through this week.

This week was always going to be tough, because of the deadlines and the big excursion, and now it's ...challenging. I have messages that must be run tomorrow, so I'll get out for a couple of hours or so then and today will be all about the next 2000 words of intelligent scholarly ponderings. I'll come online for my microbreaks and I shall twitter and FB during that time. I'll answer emails and comments on blogs when I can, possibly when life is less impossible (I hate being so tired that my fingers don't want to work, to be honest) and in the meantime, please don't ring unless it's something super-urgent. For if you ring, I will (as I did yesterday) assume that something is direly wrong at your end and I will worry. For friends can't be ringing to encourage me, when the help I need is to focus clearly on work for many hours at a stretch. Mind you, if a friend were to say "Gillian, let me drive you round your messages tomorrow afternoon and I can see you that way," I would agree with much gratitude, for simple messages take a long time on foot and by bus.

This is still one of the busiest weeks in years and it will be better soon, but only if I actually get things done. If I don't get things done by deadline then I shall have to cancel the weekend, which includes a dance party and celebrating Cellophane. I do not want to cancel my weekend (one full day of weekend that I am taking!).

I feel guilty at telling people "don't ring," but yesterday was hours longer because of phonecalls and I am way short of where I need to be because of malware and... I hurt. Simple virus. What my body needs is a day in bed. And I can't get it. All the moveable deadlines have been moved, and I cut off several obstacles to my resting that way. What I'm left with now are the deadlines that must be met. It's the price of starting my career afresh - I need to do certain things at a certain time in a certain way. Other people are affected when I don't and there are contracts involved.

(no subject)

I will catch up with all your comments when things ease off. Right now, I'll do small updates, when I'm taking a break. Which I am, now.

I think I've done half of today's work. And it doesn't look impossible from here on in, either. Just wildly busy.

The phone being quiet helps a big deal. It's the tail-end-of-PhD thing. Less than five months to go. I have a lot of juggling to do and the phone, for some reason known only to my strange brain, causes all the juggling to fall in a heap. Every time someone rings, I have to start all over again.

It's always been like this at certain times, but I haven't had so few days to myself since I left the public service. I was planning to have every day except yesterday (for yesterday included teaching) and I didn't even get Monday and Tuesday. This is why I am so discomfitted. I don't know how to plan. If I have regular events, I can plan around them, but I can't plan around irregular interruptions. Most times, I can manage regardless, but not when I'm doing serious thinking and have to be focussed. There are some types of work where I still need that level of calm and concentration. They don't occur so often (for I'm very flexible in my work habits, mostly), but when they occur, well, it can get difficult.

Anyhow, having had calm for a half day, I'm less crotchetty. I still hope that no-one rings me before Saturday, though, for I really do want to go out Saturday night (since folkdance is special and increasingly rare for me) and my life would be a lesser thing if I had to cancel my Sunday celebration.

I don't get tomorrow to myself because of messages (I had so planned for there to be no messages, but life intervened and now I have many) But if I can do all of today's work by 1 am and then half tomorrow's before the messages, I should be OK. And tomorrow night is all the finicky stuff. The stuff I meant to do earlier in the week but couldn't do when the phone rang. For I have to keep a whole template in mind, and it isn't my usual whole template and everything done under it has to be perfect. when I tell people "Ask what the publisher wants and then give it to them - don't invent your own formats" this is what I mean. It's an utter pain, but it must be done and to make sure it's done, means focus.

(no subject)

I've done the minimum of what was needed today to meet my deadlines, and the virus has got the better of me. I don't know where the virus came from, as all the friends with the same symptoms are in Tasmania. Anyhow, I ache and am beyond tired. I have only 500 words to write, however and then much editing and that's not beyond me in a morning, and I have until tomorrow afternoon, in fact, to achieve it. (If it weren't for all my messages I'd have the whole day, but my week is a funny shape.)

My supervisor has the Introduction and Chapter One (which have been basically flipped to him for advice, because I can't see the wood for the trees) and he has them before he goes on leave. Not as soon as he should have (for I was malwared) but maybe in time. I hope in time. I may well get the chapter to the editor tomorrow, on schedule, and I've already sent one other piece off.

I'm still a bit behind. I have a whole article to research and write and send by Saturday night and two interviews to chase up and there's a whole heap of stuff that will roll into next week when I really wanted to be past it all next week. The big thing is that it looks as if the crucial time-important deadlines are doable. This is as long as my phone stays silent until Sunday.

If friends could ring me for urgent matters only, I would really appreciate it. I don't need this solid quiet time often, but I do need it right now. Part of the reason that the work built up to such an impossible level is because the social time for everyone else is evening, so that's when my phone rings hot (although 'til I sulked it started ringing at 11 am and just never went quiet.) and I do my most focussed work in the evening and the morning. My brain's chat time is afternoon, oddly. If only the guy wanting to ask me questions today had rung another day, during my chat time... Everything he said to me I said, "This is a busy time." He gave up, eventually. It must have been dispiriting to him, even when I volunteered that I might be less impossibly busy in a month (he was hoping for the weekend.)

And now you're all informed about all manner of things and I shall take my aching self to bed. I will catch up with email and blog comments and friends in general just as soon as I'm past the impossible zone and, until then, I shall use the blog to overinform everyone so that you'll all be *so* relieved when all the deadlines are gone.