(no subject)

I'm finally on the mend. None of the cramps for hours, and I actually ate a normal lunch just now. This morning I still needed to sleep (and sleep and sleep and sleep) but my dreams were technicolour and fun rather than being technicolour and worrying.

One dream had a full orchestral score attached, which was unexpected. Both dreams were about my PhD - in the orchestral one, a friend had offered to help with proofreading and booked a theatre (for they intended to act it out) and a wildly big audience turned up and my friend had set it to music and reinterpreted it and got it all wrong. All my humour was turned to badly-delivered slapstick and my delicate rendition of cultural differences was reduced to someone singing "The Moon" in two languages. If any of you were actually intending to do that, it's too late, as I'm so close to final. So very close to final. This explains the dream.

I managed to read two books for Aurealis yesterday, but that's about all I did. I was not well. I keep on telling myself this, to explain the amount of work I now have to do today and tomorrow. I'm about 1/3 through the novels nominated for the award, now, which has to be worth something.

I'm confining myself to the home today in case I'm not as well as I think I am, and also to catch up a bit.

(no subject)

I've been thinking about fjm's post on titles. While I respect someone's choice of title (if they wish to be called Mrs, then that's what I shall call them - I would like to see a marital-status-for-men title to match it, since it's not going to go away and the change of names certainly affects some types of career) I thought it's about time to remind people about my own personal preferences.

I prefer being called 'Gillian' but not if the other party insists I call them by their title and family name. If you insist on my calling you 'Mr Flintstone,' then you may call me 'Dr Polack.'

I hate being called 'Ms' (because it's ugly to my ears, not because it's a poor idea), but I accept it when I need to. I have been known to explain that one of the chief reasons I actually submitted the thesis for my first doctorate (given the rather interesting conditions I was facing: glandular fever, a dying father, scholarship running out and no jobs of any variety in my field, anywhere) was to avoid being called Ms. I do actually select it above Mrs, Miss and Mr in places where my marital status is of no concern to the parties asking.

'Miss' is entirely irrelevant to my life and to the life of most adult women I know. I loved it in my early twenties, for it suited me then. I am no longer in my early twenties. I will use it to stir people who refuse to let me be called 'Dr Polack' and who refuse to use my first name, for I am of an age where 'Miss' looks downright peculiar when applied. Each time I give someone the option to call me 'Miss' they suddenly discover within themselves a capacity they had previously lacked and call me 'Dr.'

I don't care how respectful you think it is to call me 'Mrs Polack,' I do not answer to it. If I get a phone call asking for Mrs Polack, I assume it's for my mother and inform the caller that she changed her name when she remarried. If I'm in a pleasant mood, I offer to pass on a message. When they then say "I wanted the lady of the house" I will say that if they actually wanted the owner, they should say so. Mostly they then say "No, the lady of the house - I may have the name wrong." I've now taking to saying "I'm Dr Polack and the owner, so you don't want me. I hope I haven't wasted your time." I then say goodbye nicely and hang up.

The only other times I've been called 'Mrs' are by middle-aged male students who didn't want to call me 'Gillian' and couldn't face 'Dr.' I explain the situation gently and offer to call them 'Master' if they continue to call me 'Mrs.' Mostly this defuses the whole thing and they find it within themselves to call me 'Gillian.' Once it led to a massive sulk. "I was respecting you," he said. I couldn't see what was respectful about assigning me a false marital status and ignoring the title I had earned. I made a Hunting of the Snark joke and suggested he avoid calling me anything, if he couldn't call me 'Gillian' or 'Dr Polack' and this he did.

I hate being called 'Mr.' Some organisations see the 'Dr' and change it to 'Mr,' which is wrong in far too many ways. I will attempt to get them to fix their error and see the light of their ways. If they don't, I will ring them and explain that I am still female and could they please cancel my subscription.

So now you know.


ETA: I ought to qualify - all the above refers to me, addresses as an individual. If a group of people are introduced on a panel or at a conference or in a meeting and the others are introduced by their titles and surnames, then if I am introduced as 'Gillian' I shall not be best pleased, especially as this only seems to happen when I'm the only woman in a group. If Fred is 'Professor Flintstone' and Barney is 'Dr Rubble' then I am "Dr Polack.' Otherwise I will assume a power differential and will act accordingly.