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Nov. 16th, 2012 02:40 pmMy mother is a source of infinite entertainment. She does a lot of volunteer work and someone just nominated her for Victorian Senior Citizen of the Year. This upset her. "Why would anyone do such a thing? I shouldn't have it. I don't do anything worthy of note." I am an evil daughter, for I laughed at her for thinking this.
My mother has, in fact, done an enormous amount. The trouble is that she's infinitely unselfcentred and also that she assumes that if she does something, other people must be doing a lot more. I checked out the award and when I told her that she was nominated but that several other people were shortlisted and someone else entirely won and when I recounted *their* work to her, she admitted that she could tolerate having a certificate that says she was nominated. She still thinks it's wrong, however, and refuses to tell anyone.
Me? I'm proud of her, but I've been proud of her for many, many years. She doesn't complain about anti-Semitism: she works long hours in the Jewish Museum to answer questions about being Jewish in Australia and she works with groups of schoolchildren and gives talks to community groups and puts in very long hours and much work to make sure that those who want to understand have access to that understanding. So many of our phonecalls are about what approach will work for this subject or that, to help people of all backgrounds understand.
Since she retired, she's done about 25 hours a week of work in this area, and recently she has also worked to help sustain an old steamtrain line*.
She's not a leader. She's the person who does the work that makes things last and makes operations effective. She's the one who turns up when other people can't and who will put in the extra hour or two when things take longer than expected or when something goes wrong. She's the one who gets the difficult groups at the Museum (for they're never difficult with her) and who doesn't take offence at questions or assume that a question from a child requires a childlike answer, but who looks the questioner in the eye, nods gently, and gives the questioner a serious answer.
My mother is a solidly good person with a very keen sense of the importance of giving more than she receives. She's the sort of person you want in a community, the kind who helps keep things cohesive and kind.
I told her this and she said that if I had nominated her, she would have strangled me. I didn't nominate her, I said, but that didn't mean I wasn't proud of her. She's promised not to hide her certificate until I have seen it.
*This has led to an obsession with jigsaw puzzles.
My mother has, in fact, done an enormous amount. The trouble is that she's infinitely unselfcentred and also that she assumes that if she does something, other people must be doing a lot more. I checked out the award and when I told her that she was nominated but that several other people were shortlisted and someone else entirely won and when I recounted *their* work to her, she admitted that she could tolerate having a certificate that says she was nominated. She still thinks it's wrong, however, and refuses to tell anyone.
Me? I'm proud of her, but I've been proud of her for many, many years. She doesn't complain about anti-Semitism: she works long hours in the Jewish Museum to answer questions about being Jewish in Australia and she works with groups of schoolchildren and gives talks to community groups and puts in very long hours and much work to make sure that those who want to understand have access to that understanding. So many of our phonecalls are about what approach will work for this subject or that, to help people of all backgrounds understand.
Since she retired, she's done about 25 hours a week of work in this area, and recently she has also worked to help sustain an old steamtrain line*.
She's not a leader. She's the person who does the work that makes things last and makes operations effective. She's the one who turns up when other people can't and who will put in the extra hour or two when things take longer than expected or when something goes wrong. She's the one who gets the difficult groups at the Museum (for they're never difficult with her) and who doesn't take offence at questions or assume that a question from a child requires a childlike answer, but who looks the questioner in the eye, nods gently, and gives the questioner a serious answer.
My mother is a solidly good person with a very keen sense of the importance of giving more than she receives. She's the sort of person you want in a community, the kind who helps keep things cohesive and kind.
I told her this and she said that if I had nominated her, she would have strangled me. I didn't nominate her, I said, but that didn't mean I wasn't proud of her. She's promised not to hide her certificate until I have seen it.
*This has led to an obsession with jigsaw puzzles.