(no subject)

One day I intend to write a novel that has the action-scenes-without-characterisation-or-much-in-the-way-of-meaning replaced by text that reads something like this:

"Scene cut due to it boring the author. The heroine faces down thirty-one villains and comes out with a paper cut and her hair in disarray. Rest assured, however, that her life is most definitely threatened three times and vaguely threatened throughout."

or

"The hero is surrounded by evildoers and he ends up in the clearing alone and unharmed except for two and a half bruises. Bruises hurt. Work out for yourself how he does it, because it isn't crucial to the plot and I couldn't care less about the bruises. No, he's not getting arnica for them. If you want the scene then act it out with friends. I'm happy to post footage of your action narrative (and the bruises) on my blog."

Yes, I am rather bugged at the moment by writers who confuse action with plot development and who forget that their characters don't have to be perfect. I'm also rather annoyed when the hero/heroine/villain suddenly develops powers we-knew-not-of-as-readers purely so that they can come out of overwritten action scenes with glory in their eyes. I want *people* in my fiction, drabbit, not non-stop meaningless action.

Maybe I should just write "Insert action scene of choice here"?