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Nov. 3rd, 2006 01:02 pmI'm getting this warning in early so that you've all forgotten how very offensive I can be and so you still want me round for partying and general enjoyment. I'm also getting in early because my normal shopping has already been displaced by Christmas finery in the aisles. And because the question has arisen socially, which annoyed me into blogging.
Firstly, it's *not* offensive to me if you wish me happy Christmas, invite me to parties or even give me Christmas gifts or cards. I love getting presents, going to parties*, getting thoughts of happiness from friends**. This is important. I'm very happy to share Christmas with Christian friends or friends who celebrate Christmas but think that it's secular.
The thing is, though, I'm celebrating with you and for you, not for myself. It's friendship, not a change of religion. Expect me to prefer 'end-of-year' as opposed to 'Christmas' for corporate events and to get very upset when someone says for the nth time in a week that Christmas is secular therefore I should have no trouble buying a tree or getting my mother a present or taking a few days off. It is *not* secular in my family. This is because my family is Orthodox Jewish. And no, this does not make me less Australian.
One of the things that I dream of is that we respect individual beliefs rather than try to homogenise everything. If someone is an atheist, an agnostic, a Hindu, a Buddhist, Shinto, Jewish, Moslem, Greek Orthodox, Wiccan - they ought to be respected for *their* beliefs and practices, even if we don't understand them. They are not a pale version of ourselves. We offer a share in our particular way of doing things when it's appropriate, but we should not try to make them into us.
If your belief includes one that says that Christmas is a secular holiday then that's cool. I can't think of it that way. Not without dumping a lot of history and a lifetime of people telling me I need to believe in Jesus.
I will respect your belief that Christmas is secular or that it represents the birth of your Saviour or the date assigned to the birth of a major prophet. Alongside that, I would *really* appreciate it if just for one November-December, my friends would refrain from trying to reshape my beliefs for me. It's only ever one or two of my friends, but this year I would like the freedom of not feeling guilty for being Jewish. Just once.
And to the person who told me last year that I should retire to the confines of the (rather small) Jewish community for the whole period if the subject bothered me so much, would you kindly not mention it again. Remember that Christmas sneaks into TV, online, into shops - I can't just switch it off. We *are* all different and I can't be you and really don't much want the spartan existence you recommend.***
And my apologies to 99% of everyone. This post is not aimed at you. It's aimed at a 1% that - every year - thinks that I need to conform or that they need to put my views under a microscope and find fault with it. In fact, my apologies to all of you, because even the comments I don't like are well-intentioned and I *do* have PMT. Which means I will regret this post in two days time :)****.
*If I don't come to all the parties it's health reasons or deadlines - I don't stop working on other people's holidays. Which is only fair. I don't expect any of my non-Jewish friends to take ten days out for our New Year period or take eight days off and stop eating leavened anything for Passover.
** But not eating Christmas ham. I carved one once for a friend, though.
*** My suspicion is that you don't want to be me, either. And that I don't really mean 'spartan' because the ancient Spartan religion is not my religion either, though I admit, it didn't have Christmas.
**** I won't regret the footnotes. I have suffered from a dearth of footnotes recently.
Firstly, it's *not* offensive to me if you wish me happy Christmas, invite me to parties or even give me Christmas gifts or cards. I love getting presents, going to parties*, getting thoughts of happiness from friends**. This is important. I'm very happy to share Christmas with Christian friends or friends who celebrate Christmas but think that it's secular.
The thing is, though, I'm celebrating with you and for you, not for myself. It's friendship, not a change of religion. Expect me to prefer 'end-of-year' as opposed to 'Christmas' for corporate events and to get very upset when someone says for the nth time in a week that Christmas is secular therefore I should have no trouble buying a tree or getting my mother a present or taking a few days off. It is *not* secular in my family. This is because my family is Orthodox Jewish. And no, this does not make me less Australian.
One of the things that I dream of is that we respect individual beliefs rather than try to homogenise everything. If someone is an atheist, an agnostic, a Hindu, a Buddhist, Shinto, Jewish, Moslem, Greek Orthodox, Wiccan - they ought to be respected for *their* beliefs and practices, even if we don't understand them. They are not a pale version of ourselves. We offer a share in our particular way of doing things when it's appropriate, but we should not try to make them into us.
If your belief includes one that says that Christmas is a secular holiday then that's cool. I can't think of it that way. Not without dumping a lot of history and a lifetime of people telling me I need to believe in Jesus.
I will respect your belief that Christmas is secular or that it represents the birth of your Saviour or the date assigned to the birth of a major prophet. Alongside that, I would *really* appreciate it if just for one November-December, my friends would refrain from trying to reshape my beliefs for me. It's only ever one or two of my friends, but this year I would like the freedom of not feeling guilty for being Jewish. Just once.
And to the person who told me last year that I should retire to the confines of the (rather small) Jewish community for the whole period if the subject bothered me so much, would you kindly not mention it again. Remember that Christmas sneaks into TV, online, into shops - I can't just switch it off. We *are* all different and I can't be you and really don't much want the spartan existence you recommend.***
And my apologies to 99% of everyone. This post is not aimed at you. It's aimed at a 1% that - every year - thinks that I need to conform or that they need to put my views under a microscope and find fault with it. In fact, my apologies to all of you, because even the comments I don't like are well-intentioned and I *do* have PMT. Which means I will regret this post in two days time :)****.
*If I don't come to all the parties it's health reasons or deadlines - I don't stop working on other people's holidays. Which is only fair. I don't expect any of my non-Jewish friends to take ten days out for our New Year period or take eight days off and stop eating leavened anything for Passover.
** But not eating Christmas ham. I carved one once for a friend, though.
*** My suspicion is that you don't want to be me, either. And that I don't really mean 'spartan' because the ancient Spartan religion is not my religion either, though I admit, it didn't have Christmas.
**** I won't regret the footnotes. I have suffered from a dearth of footnotes recently.