Where Gillian gets the jitters

Today I'm totally nervous.

I ought to be celebrational, because being a guest at Conflux and chairing the short story competition is the stuff of my dreams. Very few of my friends have said much about either so my ever-willing-to-discount-nice-things-that-concern-me imagination has assumed it ought to relegate the judging to 'work-that-must-be-done' and Conflux either to you 'don't-deserve-it-really' or 'they'll-correct-their-mistake-soon'. Yet I know I'm wrong and it's all amazing. It's not so important to other people, but it's totally wonderful all the same.

There's a reason I'm doubting my reality. I'm dead nervous about one unannounced mystery thing plus I still have the nasty tail end of that virus. I feel disconnected.

It doesn't help that whenever most people talk to me about Conflux they're interested in everything except the guest list. This is odd, but not actually bad. It means that planning to come and finding ways of making it happen are the highest priority right now. I'm one of the people they turn to because I tend to be fairly accessible (especially online) and I'm on the committee so I get asked questions. Committee stuff is what everyone wants to know. It all makes sense. Everyone is planning their writing and their own attendance at Conflux. (The invitation to be a guest was so lovely. It started with an apology for asking me to do more work! The rest of the Conflux committee is so totally cool.)

Anyway, after tonight there will be one less secret in the life of the Gillian. The contractual state of my novels will be the only big secret around, really, and that's a perpetual state, being in the hands of publishers. This is not a bad thing. All I have to do is deal with that idiot virus and last a few more hours. Also, I can remember that I'm talented: the Conflux web page says so.

If anyone has missed all the announcements, the one with all the latest information can be found on Tillianion's blog.

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I've found more causes for my jitters. All these things happening and I'm not yet ready for Passover. It starts Saturday and the only thing I've done is the worst of the food and pack presents. I plugged my eee to recharge and immediately calmed down. Now all I have to do is advance post for my food blog (to cover the high holy days - if I can come online at all I'll be lucky, and my family will be way more content with me if nothing I do online resembles work), prepare the Medieval Women course (which got its go-ahead yesterday), do some stray shopping and do all my big backups and then I'll be up to where I should have been before the virus and the wonderful flurry of good news.

Basically, I have fourteen hours of work to do each day before Passover and only about six hours of energy a day to do it with. I haven't even had time to contact most of my friends and let them know I'll be round - please email me or ring me at Mum's (but not any time from Saturday evening to Monday lunchtime) if any of you read this and want to see me. Email me especially if you feel like going to the SLV Medieval exhibition with me and don't mind my Passover food prohibitions.

Also, I turn 47 next week. Everyone in Australia can have my birthday off if they so desire. It won't stop this being the first birthday I've actually ever worried about getting older (I have no idea why it worries me this time - 47 is a prime number isn't it? it *has* to be strange and wonderful on those grounds alone) but then, life has odd twists and turns. The year is looking like something I've never met before (in a good way) so maybe I'm just nervous.

I have to say, there are times when I wish I had a little more faith in my own abilities. It's really wonderful when others have the faith in me that I lack in myself. Thank you all for that. This week in particular, it helps.

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This is the news I've been waiting to tell you all.


Submissions for new short story anthology

Submissions for the next CSFG Publishing anthology, Masques, are welcome between 20 April-31 October 2008.

Masques will be edited by Gillian Polack and Scott Hopkins. Stories may be any length up to 5,000 words. All approaches to the theme are welcome, as long as they are by nature speculative. Payment will be contributors' copies plus $10 for stories under 1,500 words and $25 for all other based on published word count.

Submissions are encouraged from Australian writers of all levels of experience, with special encouragement given to CSFG members. Submissions should be sent (as plain email with stories as .rtf only) to masquessubmissions@gmail.com. Please make sure that the following information is in the email proper:

Name
Address
Email Address
Name of story
Other contact information

If you wish to contribute to the interior artwork, please contact masquescsfg@gmail.com

Contact Information: masquescsfg@gmail.com