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Jan. 26th, 2010 10:45 pmI spent Australia Day getting medically tested. I am all ECG'd out. Tomorrow I may have only one medical appointment, then I think that's that till next week because the x-ray and ultrasound thing lady gave me appointments for both for next week. This means that all those other totally delightful tests (including the one with the four litre sample bottle) can all be done the evening before or on that day. I can start at 10 am Wednesday and end at midday Thursday. And then I ought to be done with tests.
We know some of what's wrong with me, but not all. We know the heart is involved. My doctor smiled when I said "I get to prove I have a heart yet again" when I was scheduled for more ECGs. I not only have a heart, I have an enlarged left ventricle.
I don't think you need blow by blow reports. I'm certainly not well, but I'm unlikely to die instantly.
What I have to do is suffer less stress. How does one reduce stress when life is so very interesting? I'm so glad you asked.
I've started making a list of things that have been stressing me. Little things. Remedial things. I can't take off tomorrow and spend two weeks in the US annoying my best friend, even though it would make me much happier. I can get rid of my Locus collection to someone who wants it, and have already done that, so I no longer have huge stacks of back issues of Locus taking up scarce bookspace.
Some things on my list I can do alone. Some I need the help of friends. Obviously I can't do anything that takes money. If anyone wants to spend a day in Collector or Wee Jasper, I'm at your disposal. If anyone has always had an insane desire to sweep and tidy a patio, my patio is at your disposal. if you want to see what's on my initial list, then my list is at your disposal. It keeps changing, and each time I delete something I feel less worried.
My next few months are not going to be easy. I intend to get through them as lightly as possible. My list is my weapon. It's not a complete list and may never be a complete list. As I encounter stuff that stresses, I add. As I deal with stuff that stresses, I delete. I don't put the impossible on the list - it won't work if I do that.
My list and the amazingly awesome blood pressure tablets I am on will get me through till I am past the tests and am seen by the specialists and my next little while is planned. If I still need the list once the cardiologist has told me what's what, then I shall keep maintaining it.
It makes me think, though, that if people around me become annoying and add to my stress, then I should do a musical version of my list. Then I can hum G&S in their direction and smirk and diminish my personal level of annoyance while driving other people crazy. So if ever you hear me humming The Mikado in your presence, listen very carefully. If the song is a particular one, you might want to back off gently...
PS To friends who have asked or intend to ask "What can I do to help?" - ask for the list. Only do stuff that makes you happy otherwise I'll have to add guilt over friends doing things for me to the list. Don't burden yourself. It's enough that you care, truly.
We know some of what's wrong with me, but not all. We know the heart is involved. My doctor smiled when I said "I get to prove I have a heart yet again" when I was scheduled for more ECGs. I not only have a heart, I have an enlarged left ventricle.
I don't think you need blow by blow reports. I'm certainly not well, but I'm unlikely to die instantly.
What I have to do is suffer less stress. How does one reduce stress when life is so very interesting? I'm so glad you asked.
I've started making a list of things that have been stressing me. Little things. Remedial things. I can't take off tomorrow and spend two weeks in the US annoying my best friend, even though it would make me much happier. I can get rid of my Locus collection to someone who wants it, and have already done that, so I no longer have huge stacks of back issues of Locus taking up scarce bookspace.
Some things on my list I can do alone. Some I need the help of friends. Obviously I can't do anything that takes money. If anyone wants to spend a day in Collector or Wee Jasper, I'm at your disposal. If anyone has always had an insane desire to sweep and tidy a patio, my patio is at your disposal. if you want to see what's on my initial list, then my list is at your disposal. It keeps changing, and each time I delete something I feel less worried.
My next few months are not going to be easy. I intend to get through them as lightly as possible. My list is my weapon. It's not a complete list and may never be a complete list. As I encounter stuff that stresses, I add. As I deal with stuff that stresses, I delete. I don't put the impossible on the list - it won't work if I do that.
My list and the amazingly awesome blood pressure tablets I am on will get me through till I am past the tests and am seen by the specialists and my next little while is planned. If I still need the list once the cardiologist has told me what's what, then I shall keep maintaining it.
It makes me think, though, that if people around me become annoying and add to my stress, then I should do a musical version of my list. Then I can hum G&S in their direction and smirk and diminish my personal level of annoyance while driving other people crazy. So if ever you hear me humming The Mikado in your presence, listen very carefully. If the song is a particular one, you might want to back off gently...
PS To friends who have asked or intend to ask "What can I do to help?" - ask for the list. Only do stuff that makes you happy otherwise I'll have to add guilt over friends doing things for me to the list. Don't burden yourself. It's enough that you care, truly.