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Advice on heroes
Apr. 7th, 2008 11:41 amI need advice, especially from the superhero experts among you. The middle aged woman thing and its tendency to make life go pearshaped gets me down. Not just me, but I'm being selfish here and talking about me and about anyone reading who likes my partial solution.
A friend inspired me (I won't give her LJ name - she can volunteer it if she wants- the circumstances of her being inspiring are private) to realise that a certain portion of what makes being a woman of a certain age difficult is cultural stresses.
The cultural stresses thing is way complicated. I can't solve all of them. I can, however, find a solution to one small aspect. It's obvious, when you think about it, why middle aged women don't feel nearly as reinforced by pop culture as teenage boys. Teenage boys have superheroes - we don't.
I know that much of the rest of the world seems to think that single women my age only want to read romance novels. I do, from time to time. A good novel in any genre is a good novel and worth the read. It's the genres you enjoy the bad novels in that are your heartland, though, which makes mine science fiction and fantasy. Superheroes are cool.
My way of shining a torch into the cultural darkness is to have a particular superhero. I want one of them that is for me, just as Superman is for teenage boys and Batman is for geeks and Wonder Woman is for unaging princesses from far islands who just can't seem to find a place in our tedious world.
The trouble is, I really can't think where to start. I'm not an artist (even my stick figures wobble) and I can't think of any superpowers. I know some basics, but they don't seem to be the basics to develop a decent superhero from. And this superhero has to be more than decent - she's got to be utterly amazing. Why? Because teenage boys and geeks and unaging princesses from far islands who just can't seem to find a place in our tedious world aren't going through perimenopause and bone density problems and migraines as well as dealing with all these daft cultural stereotypes about single life and getting accusing looks for housework not done and ... well, everything else.
The fundamental problem is that so many people don't look at women of a certain age for who they are. It's some of the same problems as being Jewish, to be honest.
So I need a superhero. Not to redeem me, but to remind me of my real value. Also to distract me when things go pearshaped for reasons of living. I found a couple of useful sentences to shape the superhero (and I found them instantly - no brain work) then I got completely stuck. For instance, her motto might have to be something like "A woman for whom the demands don't cease even though the estrogen does." Which is us. I mean, women like me. Married middle aged women also have this problem, but they have different issues as regards things like alone vs being alone.
There are very few cultural models for even defining a positive lifestyle for a single, middle aged woman. It's one of those descriptions that many writers use to denote 'sad.' One of the reasons for this is there's very little solace for us that doesn't require good friends. The escapist books have young women of more than moderate looks, and the one series I know that has a woman entering menopause has the symptoms wondrously diminish when life gets too tough. (Still, I love that author for creating the character.)
We need some more positives. We need books we can pick up at 3 am that say "Yes, this is you. The rest of the world may not be able to see it, but you are glorious and wonderful." That's why we need a superhero. Why I need *my* superhero.
If anyone has any ideas on how to get her started, I would love to hear them. I don't even know what to call her! Or what costume suits the roundness of waistline spread. Or what superpowers she has. I don't know anything, really, and need some help.
A friend inspired me (I won't give her LJ name - she can volunteer it if she wants- the circumstances of her being inspiring are private) to realise that a certain portion of what makes being a woman of a certain age difficult is cultural stresses.
The cultural stresses thing is way complicated. I can't solve all of them. I can, however, find a solution to one small aspect. It's obvious, when you think about it, why middle aged women don't feel nearly as reinforced by pop culture as teenage boys. Teenage boys have superheroes - we don't.
I know that much of the rest of the world seems to think that single women my age only want to read romance novels. I do, from time to time. A good novel in any genre is a good novel and worth the read. It's the genres you enjoy the bad novels in that are your heartland, though, which makes mine science fiction and fantasy. Superheroes are cool.
My way of shining a torch into the cultural darkness is to have a particular superhero. I want one of them that is for me, just as Superman is for teenage boys and Batman is for geeks and Wonder Woman is for unaging princesses from far islands who just can't seem to find a place in our tedious world.
The trouble is, I really can't think where to start. I'm not an artist (even my stick figures wobble) and I can't think of any superpowers. I know some basics, but they don't seem to be the basics to develop a decent superhero from. And this superhero has to be more than decent - she's got to be utterly amazing. Why? Because teenage boys and geeks and unaging princesses from far islands who just can't seem to find a place in our tedious world aren't going through perimenopause and bone density problems and migraines as well as dealing with all these daft cultural stereotypes about single life and getting accusing looks for housework not done and ... well, everything else.
The fundamental problem is that so many people don't look at women of a certain age for who they are. It's some of the same problems as being Jewish, to be honest.
So I need a superhero. Not to redeem me, but to remind me of my real value. Also to distract me when things go pearshaped for reasons of living. I found a couple of useful sentences to shape the superhero (and I found them instantly - no brain work) then I got completely stuck. For instance, her motto might have to be something like "A woman for whom the demands don't cease even though the estrogen does." Which is us. I mean, women like me. Married middle aged women also have this problem, but they have different issues as regards things like alone vs being alone.
There are very few cultural models for even defining a positive lifestyle for a single, middle aged woman. It's one of those descriptions that many writers use to denote 'sad.' One of the reasons for this is there's very little solace for us that doesn't require good friends. The escapist books have young women of more than moderate looks, and the one series I know that has a woman entering menopause has the symptoms wondrously diminish when life gets too tough. (Still, I love that author for creating the character.)
We need some more positives. We need books we can pick up at 3 am that say "Yes, this is you. The rest of the world may not be able to see it, but you are glorious and wonderful." That's why we need a superhero. Why I need *my* superhero.
If anyone has any ideas on how to get her started, I would love to hear them. I don't even know what to call her! Or what costume suits the roundness of waistline spread. Or what superpowers she has. I don't know anything, really, and need some help.